It was 8.45 PM at Bhopal Railway Station of year 2007..we , bunch of friends , were returning from a dust eating and foolish JOB FAIR in bhopal...yes , this name or u can say destiny is for those unlucky students who didn't get their names in the placement list of the companies who arrived to pick some cheap labours for their mean U.S. clients. Back to the railway station , we thought of catching Bhopal express which departs at 9 P.M. and reach the station GUNA which was nearby our college. We like any other students , didnt have any reservation , so thought of buying general coach tickets. We arrived at the tickets counter and the length of line of peoples was unmeasurable.

Clock ticked 8:55 P.M.

Thanks to corruption , we managed to get some tickets in black at the last moment with the train who started to getting in momentum. In INDIA , everybody is compared with money , so same was here in Railways also , reaching general coaches was like travelling Srilanka to Kashmir. We tried to hop on to 1 sleeper coach but TT denied us to step in onto that..  Money matters !  No choice , we ran at our general coaches attached in the end with bags on our shoulder..i was the last 1 to hop on...my bag was inside the coach but i was running with the train as coach was about to explode with people in it..at last , i managed to get in there in time..Train was at its full speed..inside , we had no space to get into the seats area..so we sat in front of lovely smelling toliets..i sat down calmly. i was running into sweats due to my Usain bolt running at the ending moments of hoping inside the coach.

I closed my eyes and thought what i am doing here. "Am i destined to be here"- i asked from myself. I was the top scorer in my bunch of friends and maximum were placed leaving some ppl like me and some other good scorers also. That entire night i spent in front of that smelling good washroom thinking what life has in store with me. That was the night my perception about studying regularly and getting good scores to get placed in a software company was changed.

Back in 2004 , i got an admission letter from jaypee for counselling session and my family happiness had no bound as we all have lost hope of getting admission into any engineering colleges in INDIA , courtesy my bad marks in entrance exams and Reservation system of India. I just dreamt of becoming an Engineer and i was the 1st one from my family into that profession  , so neither my dad nor me had any clue about that career. After asking many experienced peoples and some active professors in colleges , they all were singing the same rhyme to me and my family and below is the subject of that rhyme which goes like  :-

"ECE LE LO BAHUT SCOPE HAI" , "BAHUT SCOPE HAI" , "ECE LE LO BAHUT SCOPE HAI"

Valuing the older peoples statements keeping in mind the culture of india where old had a huge respect , me and my dad took the decision of taking Electronics and Communication stream clueless what will be the situation 4 years ago when 99 % of firms coming for placements will be Software firms keeping aside all ECE students knowledge about Antennas and Semi Conductors theories in which my ass had been burn out to pass these subjects and manage to get C grade in the semesters exam. To my shock , all of that was of no use when placement session was going on in 2007-08 period.

May 2008 , my Engineering degree final exam was about to end and at that time i was not taking tension of the 1 of the question which i was unable to answer to but i was thinking what answer i will give to my family when i will return to home empty-handed. Yes , i didnt get a job during my college days and all that travelling to Noida every 15 days for campus placements , to bhopal for dust feast JOB-FAIRS , silent humiliating when my friends were partying in the last final days and i was sitting in the room locked inside my hostel room , were of no use. Finally , the bell rang , placed students hugged with each other and planned for their next phase of life , my hostel roars crossing all sound limits , exam papers flowing in the air. I was calm , quite having fake smile so that i can accumulate with my happy friends. 2 days after , i packed my luggage and returned back to home having 1000 pounds of guilt in my heart and zero courage to look into my parents eyes. My parents , knowing each n every thing , didnt asked me about my future planning in starting , but slowly they were also tensed about my future. I was irritated with myself , looking at my final semester result. I scored 8.5 CGPA , but it was of no use. Recession hit the market so bad  ,as if , God was playing with my patience.

Having restlessness in my mind , i started door-to-door selling job with COBRA group known for raising funds for well known NGO's of the world like CRY,OXFAM,HELPAGE INDIA. That job , no doubt , improved my communication skills as we have to repeat the boring pitch to every person standing on the other side of the door. After 3 months , i left that job when i learnt to know that funds was not reaching to the needy people and group of shit corporate minds are filling their pockets with the funds raised. But because of the same job only , i bought a new mobile for me , the 1st one in my life . Yes , i spent my entire college life without mobile as i never had feel need for it.

Time passed , and after 1 year of job searching on 18th May , 2009 i got a job in Mercer , a very big MNC,
which had taught me the corporate manners and brushed my inter-personal skills with their experienced trainers. I left it after 2.5 years for money hike as it was not a good pay master.

Today , i am in my second company , core IT software firm which will deprive you from your personal life.

In these so many years , daily i think and asked myself , am i really the same tushar willing to work in IT industry and to become a successful engineer ?  as on the other hand i dreamt of becoming a drummer for a famous band.

Life has very interesting thing stored it in for all of us and i daily hope for the good one for me and my dear friends. Today , when i go into my flashback sometimes , and remember my some struggle stories for very small success in my life , i try to get deeper in mysteries of life searching for answer of the questions i am unclear of.

Is this the same future i had sacrificed my last 2 years of school , 11th/12th class , as i had joined IIT coaching to pursue my big dreams. Today , when i am earning little more the same as my experience counts  , where my batch mates and even my juniors/sub-juniors are earning well as compare to me , living outside INDIA as their on-site journey , i have no complaints with my current status of life.

But sometimes , i doubt my present with my coming future when i compare and recall my past struggles to have a bright future like any other human being.

I daily asks to myself - "What we all gonna be" ? and "What is life for us?"..

Still searching for the perfect answer..................